In May of 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a warning about what he believes to be one of the most pressing public health crises of our time: the epidemic of loneliness and isolation.

Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health. Our relationships are a source of healing and well-being hiding in plain sight – one that can help us live healthier, more fulfilled, and more productive lives

Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy

In America and even in other places in the world, we are living in a cultural environment where we live increasingly more disconnected from each other. We are all busier than ever, and the use of social media has forever changed how we connect with people. This increased isolation from one another is robbing us of fulfillment and joy, as well as our health.

In his 2023 report, Dr. Murthy says that the physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases the risk of premature death by more than 60%. In addition to our physical health, loneliness and isolation contribute substantially to mental health problems.¹

God Designed Us to Need Each Other

When God created Adam, He said: “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18). This is when God made Eve.

Have you ever considered that God said this BEFORE the Fall? At that time, Adam had perfect fellowship with God.  There was no sin, no death, and there were no walls between them. But still, God said that Adam needed a human relationship.

God made all of us with an inherent need for relationships with other people. A lack of true connection to others in our lives will always affect us on a fundamental level.

Believe me, I know this all too well!

My Story

In my life, I’ve not always understood the importance of relationships. For years, I was extremely introverted and very focused on developing my relationship with God, but I did this in a way that diminished the importance of relationships with people. This was not healthy, but I didn’t really see it until I went through a period of great darkness in my life.

In my late twenties, I went to Africa as a volunteer missionary for a few years. I had great people in my life who supported me in prayer and finances. Some of them I had deeper relationships with, but I didn’t really know how to have relationships that were close enough and daily enough to really be seen and known for who I was.

Most of this was because of subconscious fears that I would be rejected or abandoned if people really got to know me. I also feared being hurt or controlled if I gave anyone too much power in my life.

I had walls up to protect myself from these things, but I didn’t realize that I was actually hurting myself.

A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.

Proverbs 18:1

The Crisis That Opened My Eyes

Through a series of God-ordained circumstances, I ended up mobilizing leaders in Mozambique to gather together to fast and pray for their cities. I was not prepared for the spiritual consequences that would come with this kind of work.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12

I organized a prayer gathering for leaders in the capital city, and our group unintentionally went head-to-head with the country’s national witchdoctors’ association. It was pretty wild, and God did some cool things. But afterwards, I went through the greatest time of spiritual darkness that I have ever known.

I ended up with a virus that resulted in severe chronic fatigue syndrome, and I had nightmares and awful spiritual experiences at night. I had anxiety and panic attacks, and I couldn’t sleep, sometimes for days on end. I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t function much for about a year because my health was so poor. It was truly traumatizing.

At some point early on in this whole process, I heard the Lord say to me, “It didn’t need to get this bad.”

A Change of Heart

God began to show me how I had isolated myself from people and how this left me vulnerable to harm. I had planned to move back to Africa long-term, but I made a decision to stay in the States for a while to heal and also to find a true sense of family and support in my life.

It’s been a long road since all of this happened, but I want to share that the Lord is faithful. He has not only healed me, but He has used this whole process to do a deep work in my heart about the importance of relationships.

Since this experience, I have learned to open up more to the people in my life and to make relationships a priority. God has blessed me with a wonderful church family that really cares about me. I have friends to reach out to when I need prayer or emotional support or just someone to share my heart with.

One of my greatest desires in life now is to become great at loving others and to have healthy, thriving relationships. To me, this has become more important than any great vision I could hope to accomplish for my life. I still have a lot to learn, but I am thankful for the ways that I’ve grown.

What About You?

The world that we live in is an increasingly troubled place. Many people are going through difficult times, and things aren’t getting any easier. Jesus said these things would happen as we near His return. Staying close to God and close to each other is what will get us through.

Take some time to reflect on your life and how you spend your time and energy most weeks. Are relationships a priority? Why or why not?

Are there battles you are fighting in your life that would be better fought with others by your side?

In my next post, I’ll share more about what you can do practically to move out of isolation and become more connected to the people in your life.

Did you enjoy this post? I think you will also enjoy the post: The Power of Accepting Yourself.

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References

1. Department of Health and Human Services. “New Surgeon General Advisory Raises Alarm about the Devastating Impact of the Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States.” 5-3-2023.
   https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/03/new-surgeon-general-advisory-raises-alarm-about-devastating-impact-epidemic-loneliness-isolation-united-states.html ↩︎